Cycle

I'm 36 years old now.  More than any month's calendar days, and close to being 40.  All my siblings are parents now, and with partners.

I have a new job, that I am not happy at.  I don't feel that I belong in the team,  in the company.  They look at me, and talk about me, like something is wrong with me.  Just because they find me QUIET.

I left my job for this, and this is all I got.

Lord, I love you.  I feel sad that most of my posts in this blogged are prodded by sadness.

One day, I'd love to read my post about how beautiful life is, of how great your plan had been for me. How things have fallen into place:  I have an amazing great-paying job with respectful and accepting people, a loving husband and smart, God-loving, kind, sweet kids. 

Lord, I would like to read about me being happy.  The kind that lasts forever.

I believe in forever..because I believe that you are.

I love you Lord.  I need your miracle, to bring color into my senseless immaterial life.

I love you po.  Please.