Visa Grant

Yuhooo!!! Finally! I got my visa grant:) Apparently, it has been granted on Nov 14 but the email entered my bulk mail. Today, after following up thru phone from DIAC, I found out it's been approved. Gosh, after the waiting..it feels so surreal:)

Killing me softly...the wait for visa syndrome

It's 2 am. I can't get myself to fall asleep. I'm so scared..I feel so down.. Any day this month, the visa application result will be out. I've been down since the other night.

I went to Quiapo church today, walked through the aisle to the altar down on my knees. I was crying when I reached the altar. I thought of everything: the pain getting rejected by and losing the only person I have ever loved..lost friends..underachievements....sad experiences in the office...being fat..not passing the UP COllege of Law exam..not being admitted in the ASEAN Fellowship I applied for goign to Singapore 7 years ago...the prom that I never experiened coz i didn't go because nobody asked me to..my debts that i incurred for flying over to be with the man I loved and to talk to him on the phone when he got upset coz of his girl.....I'm so scared. I've never been so scared in my whole life. I'd like to start anew, to start composing myself. I wanna better..and this visa is the only hope that I got.

The priest said those people who went to Qiuapo church that day are blessed coz their wishes will come true. Icried so hard.. I was at the altar then..

At this point in my life, I did everything possible I could. I fought for this dream of mine..I am still paying the loans I applied for to support my visa application. Lord, I have went through so much pain, and I accept them. I offer them to you, for they were nothing compared to yours...
But please, I beg you, please LOrd, I knock, I seek, I ask that please grant me my visa...please Lord...through the intercession of Mary, thy most holy Mother.

I wanne be better..I wanna feel better..I wanna live better..This is my only chance Lord...Please po?

Missing my bestfriend

It's almost 4 in the morning. Still, it haunts me...a friendship that I may have lost. I have hurled hurtful emotional words to my bestfriend, Anne. And I'm deeply sad that she may have given up on me. I have gone through a lot, and i wish that i could talk to her. I just wish that she could find it in her heart to forgive me, and maybe, one day, she may actually read my posts here. It is important to me, coz this page reflects my deepest pains...dark moments that I would love to share to her..hoping that she may comfort me a bit. I feel like I have fallen into an abyss of sadness.

I miss her. Although we have not been around for each other, still, I would never wanna lose here in my life. Miles apart as we are...I value her, for she is a treasured friend. I wish she would give our friendship a chance. I remember, she sent me a letter way back..and she attached lyrics of the song.."Make it with you". IN that letter, she said, I am her bestfriend. I cry everytime I read that. I have just read that minutes ago, and yeah, my eyes are still swollen. I miss ANne. I wish we could start anew. I'd love to be in touch with her.